A conversation with my daughter
…who is under the covers on the couch, recovering from the stomach flu.
Mom: “I told her that it was whale-watching season and her eyes lit up.”
Me: “Yeah?”
Elena: “Yeah. I didn’t know.”
Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty cool, they all come up on shore to watch us.”
Elena: “Huh?”
Mom: “Or you go out on the boat and they surface to watch us.”
Me: “They take pictures, and watch through their binoculars. I mean, we’re the interesting ones, after all. What, did you think we were watching them?”
Elena: “That’s silly. They don’t have binoculars.”
Me: “Sure they do. Wraparound ones. Why do you have so much trouble believing me when I tell you about the world?”
Elena: “No. They can’t have binoculars.”
Me: “Well, their eyes on kinda on the side of their heads, so they wrap around, but sure they do.”
Mom: “Anyway, they are binocular.”
Me: “That’s right, they are.”
Elena: “No they aren’t.”
Mom: “Sure they are. You brother David is too.”
Me: “Ocular, meaning eyes, bi meaning two. Binocular.”
Elena: “Then all animals are binocular.”
Mom: “No…”
Elena: “Sure, they all have two eyes.”
Mom: “Actually, you know how flies have those pads? Those are full of little eyes.”
Elena: “Flies aren’t animals, they are insects.”
Me: “Insects are animals.”
Elena: “No, they aren’t. They’re insects.”
Mom: “Animal, vegetable, mineral.”
Me: “And fungus. Technically, I think they classify that as a kingdom now.”
Mom: “Fine, and fungus. Are flies fungus?”
Elena: “No.”
Mom: “Are flies rocks? Minerals?”
Elena: “No.”
Mom: “Are flies plants? Vegetables?”
Elena: “No.”
Mom: “Then they’re animals.”
Elena: “No.”
Mom: “Those are the three choices…”
Me: “Four.”
Mom: “…or four, since your father insists on fungus.”
Elena: “You didn’t list them all. Animal, vegetable, mineral, fungus, insects.”
Me: “Animals includes insects. And fish, reptiles, amphibians, mammals, avians, marsupials…”
Mom: “Those are mammals.”
Elena: “You forgot birds.”
Me: “Those are avians. And you’re right, marsupials are mammals that birth into pouches… what about the Australian ones that are mammals that are oviparous, it’s some weird name…”
Mom: “Platypus.”
Me: “Yeah, but the name of what they are…”
Elena: “But insects aren’t animals.”
Me (changing the subject in despair): “Anyway, gosh, you feel warm.”
Mom: “Yeah, she might have a fever.”
Me: “Elena, do you have a fever?”
Elena: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Well, check your temperature gauge.”
Elena: “I don’t have a temperature gauge.”
Me: “Sure you do. Left eyelid.”
Elena (squinting one eye, then the other): “Uh, no.”
Me: “Close your left eye, then look up to the left.”
Elena (closes left eye): “No, there’s no temperature gauge there.”
Me: “Uh oh, we need to take her to the doctor.”
Mom: “Why, they forgot to install one?”
Elena: “People don’t have temperature gauges!”
Me: “Sure they do. And the fuel gauge, that’s on the right eyelid.”
Elena: “People don’t have fuel gauges!”
Mom: “Sure they do. How else do you know when you’re hungry? David does, he’s always saying that he’s empty down to his feet.”
Elena: “No! Only cars have fuel gauges.”
Me: “And planes, and lawn mowers…”
Elena: “Cars, and planes, and lawn mowers and motorcycles…”
Mom: “The barbecue grill has a fuel gauge.”
Me: “And boats, and motorized bicycles.”
Elena: “Only ten things have fuel gauges: cars, motorcycles, boats, planes…”
Me: “Lawn mowers.”
Mom: “Don’t forget the barbecue grill.”
Elena: “The barbecue grill?”
Mom: “Sure, it runs on gas.”
Elena: “That’s not fuel, that’s gas. Of course it has a gas gauge.”
Me: “I’m never going to remember this to blog it.”
13 Responses to “A conversation with my daughter”
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Very amusing. Reminds me of some of the conversations Calvin had with his Dad.
[…] Comments […]
For what it’s worth, platypus (and echidnas) are monotremes. They’re basically mammals that lay eggs.
Animal, n.: A multicellular organism of the kingdom Animalia, differing from plants in certain typical characteristics such as capacity for locomotion, nonphotosynthetic metabolism, pronounced response to stimuli, restricted growth, and fixed bodily structure.
— Dictionary.com
I dare you to try to explain that to her. =P And if you do try, you’re also going to blog the attempt. =D (Because you might have a closet biologist who might come in handy for things like curing cancer.)
Oh, and the term “metaphor” deserves mention. =P
Elena says:
(She typed that herself, I’m laughing too hard to do it for her).
Too cute. 🙂 Thanks for sharing! (and remembering it all)
Of course animals have a kingdom. If they didn’t, the lion’s feelings would be hurt.
That conversation is similar to the type of discussions I have with my family… the constant barrage of inquiries progressing to either relevant or irrelevant specificity. Even the discussions I have with my family commonly regard scientific and technical trivia. (My dad has M.S. degrees in Physics and Engineering. His dad held a Ph.D. in Biology, Zoology, or Entomology, and was a significant figure in entomology.) I wonder if these conversations are particular to families in which there exists a strong emphasis on education.
Glass: solid or liquid, anyone? 😉
liquid.
Michael said:
You know that there are several plants that have some of the abillities ascribed to the animal kingdom… They respond to stimuli, are capable of locomotion, etc…
Sadly, I don’t remember the names of any off the top of my head.
– d.
Raph, your daughter’s teacher is going to KILL you. I can hear it now: “But my daddy told me….”
Dominic:
I’m no biologist, and I’d never claim to be one. The taxonomy and definition is generally accepted to be “good enough” past a point I’ve taken it, so that’s what I use.
Perhaps you mean creeper plants? And carnivorous plants? I’m sure there are plenty of exceptions to these broader laymen terms… mammals don’t lay eggs, for instance, unless they happen to be a platypus (or that other one..).
Hey, Iakimo, you mean like when we taught them the full alphabet that includes the letter “fibble”? *halo*